Misiu's Filijanka (misiusfilijanka) wrote,
Misiu's Filijanka

Can we or not, have it all?

I read yet another article about women's work life balance and how everything related to that is highly fucked up.

It makes me so angry.

The part of those articles that passes me off the most is how these authors defend their useless husbands: he does more than the average man, he may have never made a dentist appointment, but he's a great dad. BULLSHIT.

I think I'm most angry because I myself am completely subjugated by my husband who is a renowned gender scholar who expects me to bring him beer and start every sexual interaction with a blowjob.

But that's not nearly all. We used to have an assymetric arrangement. He cooked, he worked, he took care of Luis, he blah blah etc. I drank and slept a lot. And you know what? I did more than the average man.

But this summer everything changed. I was five months pregnant (too late to have a safe and legal abortion) and he told me he was in love with someone else (a random phd student he fucked at a conference) and would leave unless I changed.

So I changed.

I was scared of being a single mom of two boys I didn't even want. I was scared of the stigma. I convinced myself I loved him. But do I? Or am I just conditioned?

And now we're "equal." I cook sometimes, I buy stuff on amazon, I sleep less, I work more, I stopped drinking (just started smoking more weed)...

I'm so angry. Why can't I have a little inequality, in women's favor, for once. I signed up for that. I thought that's what he wanted. But he trapped me and fooled me.

Shame on me.
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